Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
