Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
