He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
