hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
