"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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