what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
