so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
