You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
