Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
