Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
