We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize