i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
