So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
