Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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