gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
