I'm lost and stupid without you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
