What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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