You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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