He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize