The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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