remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize