i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
