I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize