You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
