i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
