he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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