I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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