I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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