Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
