I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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