No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
