Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
