The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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