It's like God shit irony all over that family
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
