shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize