The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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