We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
