You're my little dorito
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
