I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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