I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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