Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I skipped work to stalk him.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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