No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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