Can Purell be used as lube?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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