I cockslap morals
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
