Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it glows. i had to have it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
