Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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