I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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