I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize