I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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