Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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