nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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