Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
