Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
