He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
