He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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