I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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