I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
