idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
