I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
