dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
