Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
