maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
