whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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