im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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