nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
