just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
